One of my friends died today. He was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer two weeks ago. Over the past few years, he’d switched from practicing law to working on his dream: writing a book. His family started a GoFundMe to help cover medical and funeral costs; part of the write-up before he died said:
“His days are dwindling…we do not know how many he has left, but time is short. It’s heart-breaking, but he has run out of time and this dream remains unfulfilled.”
One of the quotes on his Facebook page, now a digital tombstone, reads:
“You will either step forward into growth, or you will step backward into safety.”— Abraham Maslow
Imagine: You’ve got a high-profile job. You make good money. Your coworkers respect you. You’ve won all the accolades for doing your job well. You go home to a loving partner and happy healthy children. You fill your home with the latest gadgets and decorations and just bought a new car.
Sounds perfect, right? Almost…
Deep down you still feel like something is missing. On your commute, in the morning before your family wakes up or at night when they’re asleep, when you catch…
Lessons from Jocko Willink’s Good Philosophy
“ When things are going bad, there is going to be some good that’s going to come from it.
Didn’t get promoted? Good. More time to get better. Got beat? Good. You learned.
Unexpected problems? Good. We have the opportunity to figure out a solution.” — Jocko Willink
What if you could turn anything life throws at you into an advantage? Every setback, every unforeseen circumstance, every obstacle — all miraculously turned into stepping stones, paving the way to your inevitable success.
It sounds like something out of a movie. A superpower only comic…
“You’re closer to 40 than 20 now.”
That’s how my girlfriend jokingly celebrated me turning 31. But she was right. Where had my 20’s gone? Why wasn’t I as far in life as 15-year-old me thought I would be by this point? Had I wrought irrevocable damage to myself because I hadn’t taken my health seriously enough for the last decade? Why didn’t I stick with learning another language or a musical instrument? Why hadn’t I tried harder in school?
As a November baby, it’s weird having your birthday at the end of the year:
How to quit sugar using a strategy from modern psychology
I grew up in Appalachia — the land of Mountain Dew Mouth — where our teeth rot and our waists expand, thanks to our overindulgence in processed sugar.
If you couldn’t chew your sweet tea, it didn’t have enough sugar in it. Unsweetened tea? Blasphemy! You don’t have a little creamer in your coffee — you have a little coffee in your creamer.
Sound familiar? Maybe you’re not from my neck of the woods, but according to the National Institute of Health, experts agree that we “eat and drink way…
A better strategy to help you stay on track and get more done in record time
Between the New Year’s Resolutions that ended the third week of January, the short-lived motivation you felt after discarding everything that didn’t bring you joy only to again fill your house with meaningless tchotchkes, the money you sunk into the latest exercise equipment that quickly turned into expensive dust collectors, or the hours you spent watching Youtube lifestyle videos and reading countless self-help books-you ask yourself, “Why can’t I seem to make my life any better?”
You’re not alone.
The self-help industry rakes in…
How a simple psychological habit can help you get to sleep in record time
Every time I set my alarm, my eyelids get heavy. Why? There’s a scientific explanation, and once you learn it, you can use it to your advantage to fall asleep faster.
Do you get enough sleep? If you’re reading this article, probably not. Medications have side effects, melatonin products are hit-or-miss, and many of us have chaotic lives that make it challenging to practice perfect sleep habits.
So if we want better sleep, what’s left to aid us in the battle against insomnia?
Clients come to…
“Do you think I should go to therapy?”
As a psychologist, I get this question a lot. My answer is, “it depends.”
Do you need therapy? Maybe not.
Would you benefit from therapy? Absolutely.
Some people need therapy to help them work through negative experiences they’ve had in the past or to cope with current issues that make it next-to-impossible to live a good life. You’d be surprised how many people have experienced trauma, especially during childhood. …
Nowadays, it seems you can’t walk into your local coffee shop without bumping into:
The one thing they all have in common? They rave about how much they love mindfulness.
“That’s just the first part. What others call you, you become. It’s a terrible magic that everyone can do — so do it. Call yourself what you wish to become.” — Catherynne M. Valente, The Girl Who Soared Over Fairyland and Cut the Moon in Two
The majority of my job as a psychologist is helping people untangle the damage language can cause — damage from toxic things others have said to them or they’ve said to themselves. Sometimes, therapy’s about helping them understand how the language we use influences how we think. …