How to Take Back Control When You Feel Broken

Language shapes our identity and self-esteem

Photo by Fares Hamouche on Unsplash

How We Give Toxic Language Power


First, we have to accept their words. If you never found out someone said negative things about you, you can’t accept them.


If you accept someone’s words but don’t internalize them, they fade out of your mind like an echo. Internalizing words gives them staying power. You have to actively clear up mental space for the words to set up shop in your mind.


Even if you let someone into your home and don’t kick them out for being belligerent, you don’t have to keep inviting them back.

Mangy Cats and Your Mental Health

Many of us have been holding onto the toxic things other people have said to us for so long, we treat them like they’re our own words.

Key Takeaways

You can’t control the toxic language you grew up around. You can’t control all the negative experiences you’ve been through. You can’t control whether people are nice or shitty.


This is Part 1 of a series on understanding how the language we use affects us. If you’re interested, check out Part 2: The Subtle Way Language Hijacks Our Perceptions and Part 3: 7 Positive Self-Labels for an Empowered Mindset.

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Psychologist | Mindset & Habits Coach. Check out more of my work here:

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